Wee Willy Wolffy

Ezra's home!! Yepper, he came rollin' in on Tuesday night, but it wasn't a surprise, for I could smell him coming a mile away. That boy's stench made my eyes water. Usually, I don't mind a little man stank, but this was pushing even MY filthy limits. I forgave the vileness, smothering him with hugs and kisses and cuddles. He even stole me a lawn pink flamingo from a putt-putt course. Le sigh. We went straight to bed and he arose with me early, ignoring the permeating foulness emanating from his body, and did the deed like it hadn't been done in a week. Nice.

Well, now I appear to be snowed in. So I did what any other red blooded weirdo would do and started burning candles (I'm trying to use them up so I don't have so many). I'm also really bored. I've packed most of my DVDs up and there is nothing on the telly. I will go to the gym later, but I wanna watch TV. Now. Blah.

I have two days of work left and nothing has ever felt so good. I get to be my regular sarcastic, nasty self to these idiot customers and let them know that yes, their question is stupid and no, I don't know a good regimen for a colon cleanse. Lick my taint. I don't have to learn the stupid new produce procedures or push gift certificates that no one wants. Fuck you Seed. I never loved you.

Well, I'm going to go occupy myself with, oh I don't know, STUDYING. That's a novel idea. Spanish seems so trivial now that I know I'll never have to take it again. EVER.

All I've been doing is reading. Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, and Francesca Lia Block are invading my cranium and I love it. Someone start a book club with me. Ahem, Lisa.