Blah. I feel like rotting meat in John Wayne's colon. The Fredrick's of Hollywood job sucks to new heights, Ezra just left for a tattoo convention (that I chose not to attend for sheer lack of funds), and I am on the verge of tears for the umpteenth time since I've been here. I KNOW that things will get better, but I'm so lonely. I mostly feel very empty because every time I want to do something that I would usually call up my mother to do with me, oh yeah, I have to do these things by myself. I'm not utterly unhappy with this new life that I've created, nor do I regret moving, it's just that I'm starting over with shithole jobs, an adult diaper load of school (starting next Wednesday), and no friends. Ezra's made a buddy at work, but I'm sitting here on a Saturday night by myself with nothing to do and nowhere to go. The fucked up thing is, if I were in Kent, I wouldn't care if I was by myself. I would be happy. But nooooooo, I've got to be Queen Emo, and feel sorry for myself.
Everything with Ezra is going good, it's just I can't stand all of this time together. I'm a very private person and like to generate space between myself and the significant other. There is no space. At all. I have so much to bitch about, but it all just comes out wrong and I feel like garbage.
I'm going to go cry in my room now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
woman! we WILL be going out this weekend coming up. friday saturday AND sunday if you like. i found joints that have 80's tunes ALL THREE NIGHTS!!!
baby, it will get better!
fuck, I moved half way around the world, speaking a language I can barely get by in, with no friends, no lover, in a shitty small town, with no understand of vegetarianism, forget about vegan ism- so no fake stuff, and the whole country stares at you and when you sit down on a train people get up and move because of my skin color.
If Im still alive, you can obviously get through it. At least you can communicate!
Post a Comment