Don't touch me with those seman stained hands, you big ape!

I'm back from my excursion. Oh shit does it feel good to be back. Don't get me wrong, I had, per usual, the time of my life, but I missed the ole homefront.

The trip started off on a bit of a sour note, as I missed my plane. Nice. Luckily, there was another one a mere hour from the first, so it was not too much of an inconvienence. Angie picked me up and we went to eat at P.F. Changs, which proved to be un-fucking-believeable. These lettuce wraps they had were sooo great, they changed my life. Then we had all the best intentions of going out for a night on the West Chester town, but got sucked into some horrible T.V. as usual, and retired early. I was tired anyway.

The next day we both simultationsly woke up at the asshole crack of dawn and headed up for a jam-packed shopping day! My favorite extracurricular activity! We started off at King of Prussia, and were there for like 5 hours. That fucking place is gigundous. I got some good shit, no boots, to my dismay. Then we went to the Exton mall and I got some more shit. Oh shopping, why are you the only thing that gives me the least bit of pleasure in this cruel world? That night we hightailed it on down to Rex's to get in some quality RedbullVodka time. All the old favorites were there, Jackie, Justin, Zach, Donnie and Colleen. It was mondo fun, but I was very tired and we went home at like one, to sleep off the jampacked day of shopping and drinking.

I can't really remember what we did on Saturday during the day...I know we worked out...anywho, I can't remember because what happened Saturday night was probably the highlight of my existance, and will forever outshine anything else that will ever happen to me...childbirth, death, ANYTHING. Ok, so we went to this club called the 700 club which was mega cute, it looked like someone's grandma's house. This nerdy, hipster/emo dude came up to Ang and I and told us we were the sexiest girls at the bar, and that our outfits were amazing. We were very nonchalant, and said our thank yous, and were on our way. Later, as we were walking to the car after the bar, we stopped some random and asked him for directions. Lo and behold, it was the random from earlier. So he helped us find our way and we got to talking to him and somehow got on the subject of sexy underwear. He goes "I have some pretty sexy underwear on, do you girls want to see?" Fuck yes, we say and he promptly drops his drawers, revealing a lovely black, g-string, banana hammock! Oh my we say. Knowing my love for crazy people, I start snapping photos! Then he asks us if we mind if he takes down his underwear. Angie says I don't know, ask Theresa. Ladies and gents, you know my answer, so this young man drops the panties, revealing a raging hard-on! Creepy you say? Oh contraire, it was trememdously funny! Suprisingly, not weird at all. So I'm snapping away and he bends over, spreading his ass cheeks, to reveal a bountiful purple flower. This dudes asshole was stretched to no end. Beautiful! Colleen says (which is the quote of the century) "If I was single, I'd touch it". Amazing. Then the gentlefellow says, "Do you ladies mind if I masturbate in front of you?" Of course, the answer is no (I was voted out 2 against one) and we go on our way. OMG. This shit only happens to me.

The rest of the trip was uneventful compared to this event. I missed Ezra greatly, and feel happy to be home. Sigh