Well, my trip was allright. It just made me realize that I really cannot win no matter what. Before the damn ship even left port, I was in the nurse's office (like high school or something) with a kidney infection. Being the trooper I am, I did not complain or bitch once to anyone. The first night I was on the ship I was really weepy though. That is not like me at ALL. I don't know if it was being away for the first time since the Greg thing (alone that is), or missing Ezra so much, but I really cried myself to sleep. I was very lonely and felt weirdly defeated on some level. It really just made me realize that I do need to start going to a counsler or something. I have major unresolved issues since everything happened and have been just pushing it very far away and not dealing with anything at all. It is very scary and I don't like being a weak person. I miss Greg very much and hope that I can on some level forgive him for doing this to me. I love Ezra so much and am so grateful for everything that he has done for me throughout this whole situation. He will never know that how he handled everything made me feel so safe through all of this. He is a huge dufus most of the time, but he is one amazing guy. He may not be the most loving person or concientious, but I am so lucky to have found him. Anywho, he is having fun in Arizona and I hope the distance does nothing but bring us closer together.