Will Someone Please Call A Surgeon?

Why when I am in a perfectly good mood, does something shitty have to happen? I was super happy when I got home from work and then I have to go and see Ezra. He can be such an idiot. I swear he gets mad at me when I go visit him at work. It's like he doesn't want me talking to anyone that works there. I got him this awesome Abraham Lincoln bust at the thrift store and was really exited to go give it to him, and he's like "that's cool", and puts it down, going about his business. Then he was bitching about some random thing and mad cuz I was making vegetarian tacos for dinner. "Why you always trying to make me eat that shit" he says. WTF?? I can't even do something nice for anyone without getting shit. I swear it would be so much healthier for me to be single. I don't know why I bother. So now I have to wait for bitch ass to get home so I can hear bitching about tacos. Don't eat it then motherfucker. It's that simple. More for me. Like I need to hear this garbage. If only I could let him know how much I am a mess inside. SEE ME CRY? Never...

I don't let anyone in. What's the point? Nothing lasts, or is maintained. Why the fuck do I need to care about anyone? You just end up alone in the end. Put that last fuckin nail in my coffin.

Today at work, Wendy was like "the Iraq war is costing each American 1400 dollars". What the fuck? I did that care about the government thing. I was waaaaayyyy into the election. Where the fuck did it get anyone? Nowhere. It's all some stupid play. Fuck it. Life is really too short to worry about the future to a ridiculous extent. Everything at the government level is a sham anyway. It's all planned out. There is no fate. FUCK IT...

Thanks for hearing me rant...life is hard to keep up with sometimes. I just want to feel safe and calm again. I'm sure that will not happen. Truely, the person that loved me unconditionally is now dead. I know that there will never be someone again that puts me on a pedistal like that. Probably a good thing.