When you are away, I feel gray

Oh Miles, how I miss you. You never fail to crack me up and I live for your laugh. That random Heh bellowing from your gut makes a smile appear on my face that cannot be erased. Alas, you live semi-far away (well Clevo, but you don't have a car, so it's a one way friendship really). We have a mutual love of a gal named Angie, and both want to move to Philly one day. Well, you already have, but want to move back. Anyhoo, It was real nice to see you the other day, even though it was under stupid Don Vito circumstances. You remain forever my dude.


Work was one hell of a soul sucker today. I am real sick of my staff blowing off their responsibilities. Yes, they may be cashiers, but I attempt to make their meaningless jobs as interesting and fun as possible and they do not seem to realize or care. I guess I care, so I feel that they should also. No one wants to make a career out of this (with the exception of Tahli and maybe Nicol).

I am feeling really shitty today and do not want to sit in Ezra's closet of a room and make a valiant effort to do my homework without his distractive nature. I just want to relax and watch Six Feet Under. Peter Krause gives my life new meaning.

I need a vacation...I miss my Angie 

Here I am with Dave, who obviously wanted nothing to do with my silly ass. I just got back from the official Mustard Seed Market post-holiday shin-dig. Um my job causes so much conflict in my life. I really love everyone that I work with. I mean REALLY love them. I don't know what I would do without these friends I have made at this place. I will forever be grateful for the friendships I have made over this 5 1/2 year period. But (you knew this was coming), I cannot handle these godforesaken customers. It really sucks when people actively attempt to belittle you and make you feel like shit. Which they do not do, they just piss me off to no end. I just visualize their demise in many different ways. What I am attempting to get out is that I want to turn a new leaf in my life. I want to get out of here. I want to plan a different life. I want to START OVER. No old memories to hold me back to these places and things. I want to become reborn per say. Lordy does that sound hokey, but seriously. It's time. I feel it in my bones, and my boner...

I would just like to say also that I love my boyfriend. He is a wonderful man and I love him more and more everyday. He puts comfort in my life. He is my preverbial rock.

Funny how I never wanted to do this ever again. And here it is. Man, if I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone say that, I probably would be rich. That love thing is a mighty crazy thingy.

booyacka 

So this is by far my favorite picture of the Bahamas trip. It was right when we got to the beach in Miami (muthafuckin brrrrrr) and we had to take our shoes off for the wedding. I'm going to get the photo framed for my parents so they are constantly aware of how much pain I went through to show them my love and devotion.

So lately I have been very silly and really miss my friends, especially Angie. She is the light of my life and I have never felt closer to anyone ever and I cherish her to no end. I want to go and see her so bad in my favorite place (Philly), but I can't figure out a good time to go. I want Ezra to go, but I really want to spend some quality time with my true soul mate. That girl makes me utterly happy and I wouldn't trade her for the world. I also realized that I miss concerts and dancing SOOOOOOO much. I haven't been to a show in ages and I miss it. I am jonsing for any show. As goes the ol' Clevo drought. 

Sometimes I don't feel that I have anything witty to say. That just bothers me. It also perturbs me that I can be so negative at my workplace. I don't want to be one of those people who goes on a rant about how fucking stupid everything and everyone is, all the while her co-workers and going "wow, what's her damage?". Not that this is Heathers or anything but you get the gist. So, I ponder, how does one reach the stage where the sheer stupidity of people does not drive her to the point of lunacy? Does anyone really like going to work? My educated guess would be no, but not everyone who works speaks so negatively in terms of their profession. I chose this life, I could very well pack up and make a new one somewhere, but I don't. I muse on how I want to start over, but that is scary. I guess it's all the Ezra talk on moving to Arizona. Is this another one of his get super exited plans that he does nothing with. Probably. But it also makes me realize that I really would do anything or go anywhere for this boy. Mind you, we have only been dating for 5 months, but he is wonderful. He is a kind person and a loyal friend, and I like that in a person. I also like that he likes me too. So what I am getting at, is yes, I would move away with you and leave the scariness up to chance. I will have my man and my no matter what friends anyway, so who the fuck cares.

Anyway, back to work now. I just needed a break from all the FUCKING idiots that I have to deal with on a daily basis.

So me, Theresa Wolff, ate major shit the other day. I am the first person to successfully fall down the entire flight of stairs at our apartment. I swore it would be a drunken Amy, but alas, it was I. It's ok tho, I managed to walk away with a slight case of whiplash and a large ecchimosis (bruise) on my right sholder blade. At least I got some muscle relaxers out of the deal.

Yesterday I went to the horrible Don Vito thing at the even more horrible Screwy Louies. I swear, things I do to see the friends I never see. I managed to convince Miles that we should get the fuck out of there as fast as humanly possible and we hightailed it down to the Zephyr, where I proceeded to get drunk. Not too drunk tho, just drunk enough to not give a fuck. When I got there, I had a lovely story waiting for me about my boyfriend who just had diarrhea in an alleyway. With a picture to boot! What I lucky girl I am. Swoon...

Didn't turn out so good, but that is a pigs head in Divine's hands. Gotta love her. R.I.P beautiful

I'm buzzed right now. I just drank a bottle of wine and watched Buffy. I have seen all seasons before, but have decided to re-watch them because of the high quality of the show. Now I am sitting in my room bored as fuck waiting for Ezra to come back from the bar. I am watching Wolfman vs. Frankenstein. Of course I am rooting for Wolfman. So I also figured out my next tattoo. I had a dream about a John Waters tattoo, and now that is what I am going to get. I was thinking along the lines of a pink flamingo with a banner that says "filth is forever". Next to the flamingo will, obviously, be a pile of dog shit. Now I can hear you thinking, "Why the fuck would she do that to herself"? Well it's just because I don't give a fuck. It's not like I would get it on my forearm or anything. Probably on my hip or lower back off to the side. John Waters is a huge part of my life and I want that to be represented on my body for all eternity. I love that man and think he is the greatest filmmaker of our time. I have everything ever written by or about him and adore all of his movies. Although Female Trouble is my fav, Pink Flamingos is an icon. As important to our society as rock and roll. At least to me that is. Well I'm goin to sleepy snoozle land and I will send you off with a picture of a great John Waters flick.

Well, here I am, dressed in black, like my idol Johnny Cash, getting ready to go be dissapointed in Nassau. This is my picture for the day. Anywho, I saw Hostel last night and I must say I liked it. Not a whole lot, but it had eyeball gauging (and snipping), and a plethura of boobie shots, so what's not to like I suppose. I just thought it would be a little more gory, but after all, it is not rated NC-17, so the DVD will probably be better. I am majorly desensitized to pretty much all violence, and nothing disturbs me. So really it was some much needed comic relief. Then we (Ezra and I) came home to watch my favorite show of all time, Strangers With Candy. I cannot go on enough about this show so if you have not seen it, PLEASE for Christ's sake, go watch it. It fits my sense of humor to a T, and if you watch it, you will know everything about me and what kind of comedy I like.


Well, school starts today so wish me luck, I'll need all I can get. 

These mutherfuckin boots give me such a boner. It's not even funny how bad I want these.

Here are my two precious angels Betty (wearing a little black dress), and Gordon (wearing his very attractive striped suit). They make my days easier and more interesting. Especially the fat one. He has helped me through some rough times, and I have returned the favor by cleaning up his shit on the floor and wiping up his vomit (he has bulimia). I love these fuckers 

Oh how happy I am!!!!!! Yesterdays plans to go dancin did not work out so well, but I still got to spend quality time with Aud and pick up my sweet man from the airport. Then I went back to his house and cuddled all night long then had hot ass morning sex. I missed that fella more than I care to admit, and am walking on air now that he is home. He had to go in to work, but I cannot wait to hear his crazy stories and see his crazy pictures from his trip. I'm glad that we have a good relationship and he can tell me anything (strippers, etc.), because it makes me feel like, for once, I can trust someone completely. Even though I knew that Greg would NEVER even dream of cheating on me, he basically still did with drugs and stealing all my money. I couldn't trust him for like a year that we were dating, so it really is the same thing.

Today I have to go get my school books and my parents are coming over to fix some shit around my apartment. It needs it desperetly. Then I will wait till Ezra gets off work and we will fuck all night and watch Eraserhead till the dawn. Hopefully I have a relaxing movie day and never have a stressful thing happen all day!

Wow, it's so weird when I am in a good mood. I swear the only things that put me in this kind of mood are sex and shopping. And my best friends of course.

So this about sums up my feelings about the Bahama cruise. Fuck the world. JK. No, I kind of like this picture because I just look like Al Bundy. This is really how I feel today cuz I just got home from work and am super tired and feel defeated by the devil customers at the Mustard Seed. I can't wait for Indie Dance Nite tomarrow because I will be with my girls dancin my ass off, and then I will go sneak in Ezra's bed and smooch him all over. Golly, I missed that boy while he was away. He makes me a happy little clam. He also makes my clam happy if you know what I'm saying...nudge nudge. Damn I'm horney. This is the longest it's been since we have not had sex in the 5 monthes we have been dating. I'm feeling the burn. Tomarrow my celibate streak is over and it's back to hot monkey love all over everything. Oh mooshie, how i've missed you. 

HIIIII
My name is Mustard Seed Market & Cafe and I am trying to kill Theresa Wolff.
Any questions?

Here I am on the beach in Miami, freezing my ass off and holding some sort of bone that I found on the beach. Kim got really mad at me because she said it was only a chicken bone, but I know that it was really some sort of crazy ass creatures bone. So I saved it to give to Ezra for him to throw away later! Ungrateful bastard... 

Dear Brokeback Mountian,
Thank you very much for crushing my heart. You made me realize that if you don't follow your heart in life, you will end up alone in a trailor in Wyoming. As I left you last night, the feeling of sorrow for those in life who make wrong decisions in love was overwhelming. I seriously felt like a knife was plunged into my chest and wriggled around a bit. You were a beautiful piece of cinema and I will never forget you. Also, I just wanted to say thank you for starring Jake Gyllenhall because he is the most lovely and attractive man who ever lived.
Love your friend,
Theresa Elizabeth Wolff

So this morning I woke up hating the world (specifically Ezra). I also realized that he is the worst away boyfriend ever and is a feeling hurter. So I wrote him an email that I will probably regret sending because he is on vacation. But oh well, what's done is done. It wasn't all mean, just telling him that he is a bad away boyfriend and never does sweet things, which I think everyone can agree, a girl needs once in awhile. Anywho, he can suck my balls.

Here is a picture of a furry fish. He makes me feel good because it goes to show that everyone needs to feel a little warm and fuzzy sometimes. I love oddities. They make my life complete 

Hot damn hoe, my scheme worked like a charm!!! I went in UO with like 60 dollars worth of goods from Gabe's and walked out with 160 in credit from the suckas! Seriously, the feeling was better than sex. Then I went shopping with Karen at the mall and got the best boots ever for 25 dollas. No, seriously, best day ever. So all I did yesterday was shop and watch Project Runway, which if I do say so myself, is the most captivating show on television. I may be going to Screwy Louies with Karen tonight to dance with some hot ass dudes. What could be better, I ask?

I also made an appointment with a counsler for next Thursday to start going to regular therapy. I really do need it cuz shit happens everyday that is getting harder and harder to deal with regarding this Greg thing. No one knows cuz I refuse to talk about it to anyone. But hopefully this will help.

Today I am also feeling extremely silly and decided to call all the Front End girls the "Skanks on Parade", which I feel suits us to a T. I don't think that they feel the same way, but Que Sira Sira (spelling is wrong I'm sure), whatever will be, will be. Don't ask me why I said that, I just got a Back to the Beach flashback.

So to sum up this post, I am in a pretty peachy mood today!

So today I go on with my Urban Outfitters scheme. I desperatly hope it works. If it does it will go down in history as one of the best things I have ever done. I can't wait for my date on friday to see Brokeback Mountian and go eat a shit ton of food at Aladdins (the best place ever), with the best people that I know, Dave, Amy, and Aud! That cruise food really fucked my stomach up, causing massive diarrhea and lack of appetite. I'm sure I ate something that I wasn't supposed to on accident.

Um I really cannot wait to see Hostle, it looks very promising. I will be happy if there are some gratuitous nude shots and a plethera of gore and guts. That will make it worthwhile. So off I go to do some major shopping damage and finally do what really makes me happy!!!! Oh shopping, how you are the sweet, sweet bane of my existance. Filling voids, filling voids...

Well, my trip was allright. It just made me realize that I really cannot win no matter what. Before the damn ship even left port, I was in the nurse's office (like high school or something) with a kidney infection. Being the trooper I am, I did not complain or bitch once to anyone. The first night I was on the ship I was really weepy though. That is not like me at ALL. I don't know if it was being away for the first time since the Greg thing (alone that is), or missing Ezra so much, but I really cried myself to sleep. I was very lonely and felt weirdly defeated on some level. It really just made me realize that I do need to start going to a counsler or something. I have major unresolved issues since everything happened and have been just pushing it very far away and not dealing with anything at all. It is very scary and I don't like being a weak person. I miss Greg very much and hope that I can on some level forgive him for doing this to me. I love Ezra so much and am so grateful for everything that he has done for me throughout this whole situation. He will never know that how he handled everything made me feel so safe through all of this. He is a huge dufus most of the time, but he is one amazing guy. He may not be the most loving person or concientious, but I am so lucky to have found him. Anywho, he is having fun in Arizona and I hope the distance does nothing but bring us closer together.

And even though I got a kidney infection the first day, i managet to drink a bahama mama out of a coconut on the beach, against doctors orders of course! 

Here I am trying to get out of the ocean without my bikini top falling off 

Today my eyelid is swollen because I have a stye. It hurts like whoa and makes me wanna hide behind my glasses, which I am doing. Tomarrow I leave to become a Bahama Mama and rock out on a cruise ship with Kimmie. Now who knows if I will have been raped when I come back cuz Kim has a hard on for me like no other. J/K, love you mama. Anywho, I hope tonight will be relaxing and I hope to watch the Munsters all night with my baby boo and screw til the morn cuz I will not see him for nine days. Oh so long I must be without my Easy E. Well I will leave you with something to ponder in my absence...

Would you rather...
Be able to walk on pudding
or
be able to project holograms of Mexican super-group Menudo?

Three assholes
Here is Me, Tahli, and Ezra rockin out at the bday party for us held at the Zephyr. You know I was drunk cuz I was dancing to Bob Segar, whom I have a massive vendetta against. Kill Bob Segar right now!

I am cute 

So this is blogspot huh? Well I'll take it. So yesterday I watched the Exorcist for the first time in forever and I forgot how much I love it. On a regular basis I quote the movie constantly anyway, so now my exitement for "Your mother sucks cocks in hell" is wholeheartedly renewed. Ezra was too busy setting up my computer and looking up cockamamie pets that he now has convinced himself that he needs. Flying monkey squirrel my ass. He's a flying monkey squirrel. Then I watched some movie about the Hillside Stranglers that was relatively interesting for a serial killer movie.

On a side note it was really weird watching my new boyfriend erase everything my old (now dead) boyfriend had on his computer before he decided to kill himself. Which included a letter to my mother that Ezra wisely did not allow me to read. Thanks Mooshie.

But I digress...My day is almost over here at the seed. Ezra is bringing me a cookie home from Tommy's. No he is not eating there, he will be dining at the meat filled Mongolian Bar-B-Q with Zack and Rob. Then we only have two more nights till we apart for 9 days. Sniff. He has really grown on me no matter how much I didn't want him to. Sigh. Love is strange