Amy and the fat man...Part Deux!

So as any redblooded American knows, there is such a thing called fat man syndrome, where if you say "Hello, how are you?" to an overweight gentleman, it comes across as "Hello, I want you to fuck me". This was the case of this very evening. The entire ride home Ezra and I are like OMG, this is gonna be trouble, because Stacy is rubbing up on Amy like she is a piece of bacon. We FINALLY get home and Ezra and I attempt to go to sleep, but alas, are kept up by the two loudest people on the planet. There is no way we are gonna fall asleep, so we get our shit together and hike on over to his house. Little did we know the night was not over yet.....Coming soon in part Tres....Vomit and Pee and Molesting, Oh MY! 

Fuckin' A

hahahahahahahahhahhshshahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Girls of the world ain't nuthin' but TROUBLE...Part un

So let me recap this fateful night. Ezra and I were going to his friend Ben's buh-bye party and I kinda wanted someone I knew to go, cuz it can get a little akward around these people (not really sure if they like me, don't really care, but gimme a break, I gotta have someone to talk to), Erica, the usual standby was busy, so Amy was the next choice. The thoughts that followed were, oh she'll be fine, no biggie if she has like two beers. What the fuck is wrong with me??? I shoulda known. She keeps drinkin' cup after cup of Great Lakes (This is important because she usually drinks el cheapo beer like natty light or whatever college kids drink these days), so she is gettin mighty wasted. At this point, I'm like fuck. I, per usual, am the sober one of the group, so naturally, the babysitter in me comes out. Considering the fact that I don't even know these people, I have to make sure that she is well behaved. After falling out of her chair and having some random that Ezra didn't even know get her some water, needless to say I was pissed. The ride home was a glimpse into my own personal hell because all I hear the entire way home is "Whateva, I do what I want". I swear her and Stacy are the same person because the looove to outtalk each other and see who wins....Th 

The boys in the hood are always hard.....

.....come talkin' that trash we'll pull your card, knowin' nuthin' in life but to be legit, so don't quote me boy cuz I ain't said shit...

I am going to have a gangsta rap party!!! Everyone has to dress and act like gangsta rappers and drink fourtys and smoke blunts. This is truely the best idea i've ever had. It is all because of my gangsta rap coloring book. Seriously, this is sweet as fuck

Everyday it's a gettin' closer, goin' faster than a rollercoaster

Who fuckin' knew that David Cross did a PETA ad?! This is maybe the best thing I have ever seen, as this man is my new love. SOOOOOOO fuckin funny.

Ezra is doing some radio show with his friends tonight. How cute is he? We had such good sex last night. I know, I know TMI, but we just have so much fun together. We went bowling with Rob and Repo Joe and I wiped the lanes with the bunch of 'em. I dunno how I managed that seeing that my average is about a 62. I won with an all time high score of 143!!! Rob had a brilliant idea of a bowling party with a bunch of people. That serves to be nothing but fun and frolicking with the SOSF crew. I swear, I am having so much fun with everyone lately. I am a social butterfly. I do hate work with a passion though, so don't worry, I haven't lost my misery. That type of thing will never go away! It's in my bone marrow.

Anyway, that's about it. I need to get my old pictures transfered to this computer from my old one so that I can post more, especially the halloween ones. I am most proud of my costume this year, so I want to show all of y'all my artistry.

Let's all get dixie fried!!!

Hello my name is wonkey eye!!!! Wtf is wrong with me? I maybe look like the loopiest girl to land on this planet. This weekend was pretty good. It started wonderful with a trip to the Zephyer and sitting at the bar with Pops and Roza all night and cracking the fuck up. I love Pops, we have the same mind. We hate everyone, both are very angry, and looooovvee the same television shows. Any one that shares my affinity for Strangers with Candy and Mitchell has loyalty from me til the end. If Ezra and I don't work out, Pops and I will promptly get hitched. I also really like all of Ezra's friends. I didn't at first, I thought that they were stuck up and rude, but they just had to get to know me and now it is all good. I especially like Roza. She is super chill and adorable and fun to talk to. On Saturday I went to a show at the ECC with mooshie. I was monstrously tired so the ciggy smoke and loudness was irritating to me. I wasn't feeling it. And no liquour. What is that about? I had to go to goddamn Panini's to get a shot. Bullshitty.

On Sunday I went to Urban Outfitters because I heard through the shopping grapevine that there was a gigundous sale and that I better get my fashion crazy ass out there or I would have a gazillion anxiety attacks. So I hauled ass on up to butt fuck to get my shop on. Did I ever!!!! I got 4 pairs of super shoes and some random shirts and skirts. I also got super cute sheets with little horsey shoes on them. And curtians. And a fantabulous necklace with a little dear on it. When I got back, I went to see my adorable neice and family. I am not quite sure why I didn't take pictures, but next time I see her I will. Ezra, Ryan and I went to El Camp and feeling quite full, we proceeded to eat peanut butter soy dream in bed and have some good sex. Overall, I'd say I had a pretty rockin' weekend. Next crazy time will be Karen's birthday. 

Take it on the run baby...

Yeah, yeah, everyone has to have bad tattoos. Mine are mostly curtosy of Dave Winland. Fucker. This rose is pretty much my worst one. Even though I wish I had them all to do over. Oh well, we all make mistakes. 

Make it up as we go along

Here I am being a naughty Wolffy. Smokin' a ciggy. Tsk Tsk. Good thing I only steal Erica's smokes when I am wasted.

I just found out that Ryan is doing a club tour and he is coming to Screwy Louies!!!! With Backyard Payback to boot!!! So that means Angie, Ryan, Mike, Jess, Miles, and Rob will all be partying at my pad on March 10!!! Whomever wants to come is welcome, we don't descriminate here at Palace Wolff. I know Ry hates touring, but fuck it, it's in his home state with all of his friends. Oh how exiting!!!!! And I get to see Angie like 13 days after that for 1 whole week. March is going to be the best month ever!!!!

I almost cried in math class today. About fuckin' Greg. What the fuck is going on? I just miss the way he used to talk to me. He made me feel smart and funny and pretty. I hate saying these things cuz I have a bf now, but I have to get this out some way. These two boys couldn't be anymore different and I love Ezra for being who he is, but I miss the good things about Greg. Yes, the bad things did overrule, but the good things were very good. It's sad.

P.S. I love Conor Oberst. 

Hey who's on trial?

Here are my roomie and I acting uber-sexual at the bar. Of course I am drunkie as a skunkie. Why else would I be acting like such an asshole. Yesterday, Karen came over and we watched Project Runway. Fucking Santino, he is such an asshole. It really bugs me that the show is fixed. I thought it was different. GRRRR...

Anyway, I am feeling restless this Wednesday morning. I have to go into work in a little bit. I don't wanna. At least I get to close with Tahli. I can't go to class tonight because Erica is sick. That kind of freaks me out cuz I never miss class. But this teacher asshole just specificly follows the book, so it should be cool.

There is nothing much to talk about today, nothing is happening in my life at all. Fuckin A. 

Love ta Love ta Love ya

This is my favorite picture of Ezra and I thus far. Even though he is making a pouty face, I look so happy because that is what he makes me feel like. The way that I fell for Ezra is a novella in itself, it was weird and unwanted, but now I do not know what I would do if he was not in my life. I've known him for years and NEVER thought of him in this way. He would not give up and I am glad of that.

Anywho, it's V-day, whoopdi do. I really do not care about today, it means nothing to me. Romance wise at least. I use this day to let my friends and family know how much I love and appreciate them. I already talked to Angie (I will be seeing her soon OMG!!!!), and I will text everyone on my important list a little later. As for my boo, I don't care to let him know that I love him today. He already knows and doesn't need some el stupido bear or candy to make him feel special. Nor do I.

On a darker note, I really hate my hair right now. I am trying to grow my hair out, and it's in a horrible place right now. It takes all my might not to cut my bangs everyday. ARRRGGG. 

The first cut is the deepest

Don't you hate it when someone that is supposed to be your friend lies straight to your face? I sure do. Especially when it is about something utterly trivial just because she is afraid you will yell at her. Well I wouldn't yell, but now I am deeply hurt and bothered by the fact that this person is able to tell every single person around her besides me that she did something. I am not naming any names, but she knows who she is and what this is about. That's way fucked up. 

If I Was Workin At the Club You Would Not Pay

I totally forgot to speak about the movie last night! We saw Final Destination 3, even though I have never seen the first two. Ezra spoke super highly of them, but I had my doubts. It turns out that it was awesome. The deaths were waaaayyyyy gory and hilarious. I loved it. It promised and delivered, giving the audience exactly what they wanted to see. I loved it. Happy girl I was.

Ezra went to some hunting store this morning, so I took this opportunity to watch Gilmore Girls. Since he has such a massive vendetta against it. I don't care.

BTW, this is a penis wristwatch. I thrive on educating the public. 

One night in Bangkock

This weekend was weird. Friday night Ezra and I got into our first tiff and it was ludicris. I was SUPER drunk and we got home and I blew a comment that he said completely out of proportion. Then he was mad at me and it turned into a big thing. But, about 10 minutes later it was over and we had some of the best sex we ever had. Real intense sex. It was nice and left me shakin in my birthday suit. That's why I love this fella, super good sex. I mean, amongst other reasons, wildly handsome, funny and sweet.

I kind of look gross in this picture, but whatever. It needs to be seen. There are many more from the notorious drunk night that will be posted soon. 

I need you so much closer......

 

Don't Stop Belivin'

So I feel icky again. I can't stop thinking about Greg. I know that is to be expected, but I don't like this shit. I feel, for the first time in my life, I am fighting depression. I mean genuine kicking and screaming fistacuffs (gotta love that word). I don't want this to happen, and even though since I was 13 years old, bad shit and death have surrounded me, I really feel defeated. I'm waving the surrender white flag over here. I refuse to give in though, I have too much to be thankful for. I have an awe inspiring boyfriend, and an unbelievably supportive family. Not to mention a beautiful and caring group of friends. I don't want this to be happening. Sometimes I feel that I am cursed. I've got the Wolfman curse. No matter what I do, something always happens. Like the morning I found out Greg died, I shit you not, I was driving to work super happy, it was beautiful out, and I had a great morning, I was thinking geez I'm happy, now all I need is for someone to die. My phone rang not five minutes later with the news. WTF???!!!

I hope this passes. Like every rough spell in my life, it should pass. It's just particularly difficult this time. Grrrr...

On the bright side, I just ordered the cutest espridrilles (shoes, assholes) from Urban Outfitters. For 20 bones nonetheless. Shopping makes me feel better. And seeing my bf, which I will be doing in about 1 hour. Toodles... 

you're a mean mean man

Oh Jerri Blank, how you are the funniest person ever to walk this earth.


I guess I am feeling mighty crappy. The math test didn't go so well, I got a parking ticket (I hate you Kent State), and I spent 5 hours watching Six Feet Under with Ezra in his bed. What a waste of a day. The episodes weren't even that good anyway, except for the last one we watched that involved crack smoking. Everything is better with the crack!

I don't really want to be in my comfort zone this weekend. I just wish that there was a show or something to do this weekend. I really don't want to spend every night with Ezra in bed watching TV. Not that I don't love both of them, but I wanna DO something, GO somewhere. I feel like I am trapped in this hell of a rut and I'm six feet under crawlin the dirt to get the fuck out.

Anywho, I am gonna get on to bed. I'm restless though, I might have to take some sleepin pills tonight. Feels like one of those sleepless buggers that fuck with my cranium. Some ants crawled in my ear or some shit.

I Wanna Fuckin' Tear You Apart

I love my boyfriend. He is a fuckin champ. It feels really good to have a semi-normal relationship with a guy. When Ezra first started pursuing me (or stalking, whatever), I was like yeah the fuck right. Then like a strange new species of fungi, he grew on me and I fell for him. I was real nervous at first, cuz of the shit with Greg and his ex, but slowly we developed a wonderful relationship. I believe that we are very good with each other. We have distance, yet closeness. He has helped me through the hardest time of my life, and no matter what happens between us, I will never forget that. He is the most levelheaded person I have ever been with, and it is refreshing. I love him a lot and anticipate spending a good amount of time with him in the future.

My day was pretty good today. Work went fast and my studying is going pretty well. I really miss hanging out with my friends. Amy, Angie, and Aud. This whole distance thing is not working out for me and I am pissed. Tahli too. I want to party hard and there is no one worth partying with. I hope to continue to spend time with Karen, but we have conflicting schedules, and it never works right when we wanna hang out. Hopefully when she turns 21 we will be able to spend more time together.

Oh cruel world, why do things never work out in the way I want them to. On a lighter note, I got my Arrested Development DVD and when I am done watching my other bazillion series that I need to watch, that one will be next.

Man, that is one fugly face I am making in that picture. I think Ezra is trying to attempt to be contemplating something smart. Really not working out for him...

P.S. I realized that Ezra is really smart and it is a shame that he is a tattoo artist because he could really be anything he wanted to be. Smart cookie, that boy... 

Hot Damn Hoe Here We Go Again

Here I am looking mighty shifty eyed. I'm actually just bored in my car on my lunch break from work and decided to be a little sassy.

Well, I fell down the stairs again today. This clutziness has really been posing a problem for me as of late. I really need to start taking care of myself, for I am getting up there in years.

I got new specs on Sunday and I must say I do look fabu in them. They are a light tortise (sp??) shell in a cat eye shape with some periwinkle accents on the tips. I love my glasses and want to have a bazillion some day.

Enough being shallow, I must be going to be studious in my glasses.

Math is one of the many banes of my existance, good thing I have the O.C. to help me along. Oh Seth Cohen, how I love your wit and cuteness. 

one burbon, one shot, one beeeerrrrrrr

DRRRUUUNNNK and crunk


Skeet Skeet 

A New Kind of Kick

Here is my MySpace picture. No, I do not belong to the MySpace community, and yes, I think it is crazy wack funky, but, if I had a MySpace page, this picture would fo sho be on it.

I had a pretty good weekend. Friday Ezra and I were just settling in to watch Six Feet Under and make sweet love when I got a call from Rob asking me if I would bring him some contact solution to the shop because he got pepper sprayed. I was like "Uh, I'll just send Ezra to get you". So much for our relaxing evening.

Saturday I got pretty wasted off ONE drink and ONE shot. Hot damn, I have not drank in a while. I genuinely like to drink, it just really never works out for me. With the responsiblity and whatnot. Anyway, it was fun and we took some hot ass drunk pictures that I will be posting eventually.

I also called the University of Arizona to request a college application. Ezra and I had another talk about moving, and I let him know that if he is serious, so the fuck am I. My hopes are not high though. I know that boy all too well. 

Will Someone Please Call A Surgeon?

Why when I am in a perfectly good mood, does something shitty have to happen? I was super happy when I got home from work and then I have to go and see Ezra. He can be such an idiot. I swear he gets mad at me when I go visit him at work. It's like he doesn't want me talking to anyone that works there. I got him this awesome Abraham Lincoln bust at the thrift store and was really exited to go give it to him, and he's like "that's cool", and puts it down, going about his business. Then he was bitching about some random thing and mad cuz I was making vegetarian tacos for dinner. "Why you always trying to make me eat that shit" he says. WTF?? I can't even do something nice for anyone without getting shit. I swear it would be so much healthier for me to be single. I don't know why I bother. So now I have to wait for bitch ass to get home so I can hear bitching about tacos. Don't eat it then motherfucker. It's that simple. More for me. Like I need to hear this garbage. If only I could let him know how much I am a mess inside. SEE ME CRY? Never...

I don't let anyone in. What's the point? Nothing lasts, or is maintained. Why the fuck do I need to care about anyone? You just end up alone in the end. Put that last fuckin nail in my coffin.

Today at work, Wendy was like "the Iraq war is costing each American 1400 dollars". What the fuck? I did that care about the government thing. I was waaaaayyyy into the election. Where the fuck did it get anyone? Nowhere. It's all some stupid play. Fuck it. Life is really too short to worry about the future to a ridiculous extent. Everything at the government level is a sham anyway. It's all planned out. There is no fate. FUCK IT...

Thanks for hearing me rant...life is hard to keep up with sometimes. I just want to feel safe and calm again. I'm sure that will not happen. Truely, the person that loved me unconditionally is now dead. I know that there will never be someone again that puts me on a pedistal like that. Probably a good thing.

Town Without Pity

I feel a little better today, I was up until 6 A.M. I haven't had insomnia like that in ages. It was oddly refreshing in a way, I got to be by myself and do whatever I wanted and watch whatever I wanted. That never happens to me.

Here is a picture of me and Amy being silly. Well, more me being silly, per usual. I love that girl, even though she is 7 or so years younger than me, she is the sweetest thing. I am very glad that we became pals, she is there for me when I need her and I am forever grateful for that. She is my dancin partner, and knows how to make me chuckle just when I need it. I wish that we could spend more time together, but she is in Hiram, like a dork.

So I really have nothing on my agenda today, perhaps a jaunt to Target. Class later in the evening, and then some quality time with my man. Maybe I'll suprise him with something special. Like anal.

J/K fools... 

Tossin and Turnin all night

Insomnia...
What causes you? I have a theory that when I suffer from insomnia, it is because I have something weighing heavy on my mind. I really haven't been thinking about Greg lately, mostly because I just keep distracting myself from the subject whenever it pushes itself into my cranium. But let's lay the cards on the table right now...
MY EX-BOYFRIEND COMMITTED SUICIDE
probably because of me. Obviously because of me. Do you know what it's like to know that the LAST thought to travel through someone's brain in their lifetime was of you? When a bag was placed around Greg's head and helium or whatever was poured in he was thinking of me. Probably apologizing for what he was about to do to me (because it really was not about him anymore, he was going to die). I know he was crying, and I know he was shaking. I never thought he would do it. The massive amount of guilt I feel is crushing. I know I should go to therapy, but I am avoiding it for whatever reason. I loved this man. And now he no longer exists. I never got to say good-bye in a funeral/closure form or anything. I used to think that was bullshit, why do you need to see some shell of this former person to have a finish to the feelings. I kind of wish there was one for me. It was more like the door was slammed shut in my face and it was over. Time to move on. He wouldn't have wanted a funeral anyway, but hopefully he knew how many people that he crushed with this decision. Especially me. I believed in him. At least I told myself I did. Did I ever really believe in him? That he would turn his awful life around? I don't have the slightest idea. But I wanted for him to find his nitch. He deserved a good life. He never had a chance, really. Doomed from the get-go. I guess I was his only hope out of his hell, and he fucked that up. I moved on. I found another person that made me feel secure. But God, I did love this man. For whatever reason, lost puppy syndrome or what-not, I cared about someone enough to sacrifice every bit of sanity and reason to make a valid attempt to make the relationship work. I knew it wouldn't. For an entire year, I attempted to convince myself that things were going to turn around, that the pills were just going to magically dissapear and he would get (and keep) a job. Finally, he put an end to all of that when he stole my ATM card and extracted 2,000 dollars from my savings account. He did it so I had a reason to escape, whether he knew it or not. The subconscious is a powerful thing.

Well, hopefully with that off my chest, I will be able to sleep. Probably not, tonight was just not made for sleeping I guess...