"Booze me up and get me high" - Anthony Zugerie a.k.a Ace

Ok, so I've decided to take a break from my 1/2 hour of taking my stuff out of boxes and putting it away because I hate doing these things. I feel like my life is defined by all of this crappity crap that I have accumulated over the years. Here is what my unpacking consists of: A gaggle of candles that I don't even burn, a shit ton of crappy monster stuff because I don't have the willpower to pass up anything that has a universal monster on it (even if it is the crappiest thing you can imagine), a massive amount of books on various subjects such as monsters, John Waters, serial killers, and deformed human babies, back issues of fashion magizines and Bizzare just in case I need outfit inspiration or to giggle a little bit at human suffering, we will not even comment on the clothes or the pieces with tags still on them, a super gigundous collection of body sprays, lotion, makeup (hey, I used to work at Sephora), and perfumes. I will spare you the rest of my junk descriptions because I want you to have some respect for me. Whatever, I can't even think of how many times through this moving process that people have asked me if I'm giving anything away. You people love me because I fill voids and all of you have self control. Well, fuck self control. I have more voids to fill, fuckers...

Anywho, I am really happy right now. Everything is going great and I am very satisfied that I made the decision to move in with Ezra. He has not made me want to chew his eyeballs out or stomp on his nuts, so all is well. At least I get to have more sex now, and that's always a plus. I've just been extremely busy and not been sleeping enough, so that always sucks.

Something has been making me think of Greg a lot, and I don't know why. It's been...hmmm...four months now since he died and I have pushed it out of my head and I finally think it's starting to float to the surface like a drowning victim. Good analogy, Theresa, way to be darker than the topic...so what do I do now? Fuck, do I go to therapy, or just let this shit fester? I don't know. Festering is my strong point, I keep it all in and develop headaches. That's what I do best. Arrrgh. Life sucks and your ex-boyfriend committing suicide because of you sucks even more testes.

Off I go back to unpacking, so Ezra can come home and tell me how much shit I have. Whatever, he asked me to move in, he knew what kind of feces he was getting himself into.

Free your mind and the rest will follow

I hate moving, I hate moving. I am utterly nervous about moving in with Ezra so soon. I SWORE I would wait at least a year before moving in with a bf and 8 months into this jazz, here I am. I love Ezra more than anything, and he is excited about having me share his digs with him, so what the hey. I have my reservations though. The fact of the matter is that I am so incredibly happy with him right now, it seems (check my record folks) that something will swing around and ruin this. I mean when i think about sharing my life with Ezra for any amount of time I get all hamster running around on a wheel feeling in my tum-tum. I love him. A lot. Yikes. It feels right. Everything that is happening right now feels right.


I need to go to a psychic.

Send me an Angel

I am dying. Literally. I have never been so sick in my life. Here's the thing about me and being sick. I am usually in complete denial that I could ever get sick, that I run myself ragged and convince myself that I am better when I am not. Grr. I have to start moving my shit into Ezra's house today, and I have no idea where to start. This will not be fun. I fucking hate moving. I fucking went to the gym for chrissake's today. What the fuck is wrong with me. Besides the fact that I am convincing myself that I have to get rid of my spare tire asap and want to look super sexy/sassy if I am going on a beach vacation with a lot of naturally skinny girls. I swear to god, everyone I know is naturally skinny. Not I, said the Wolff. I'm really on a self hatred kick today, seriously.

Phew, that was one long rant. ARRRRGGHHH I AM INSECURE TODAY!!!!! HELP ME? All of you people tell me I'm pretty and curvy and lovely. Even though Ezra encourages me to GAIN weight (yeah right sucker), I still feel monstrously grotesque. He makes me feel sexy and beautiful, but it doesn't always last and I look down at my roll or my dimple on my thigh and want to cry. America sucks. Tabloids suck. Fashion rags suck. I love them though. Well, I just bought a new workout video today, so I will do yoga bootie burlesque ballet and be toned AND curvy. Life sucks sometimes.

You can lick my royal hemroids, you fat pig!

I'm sick. Sick, sick, sick. I feel like monsters have been trampling on my skull and little buggies have invaded my nasel cavity. I am itchy and my peehole hurts. I think I have another UTI. It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday and has only gotten worse since. I never get sick like this. It's mostly the change of weather and probably the plane ride also. This weekend was the horror convention and now I can't go. It's not fair. I am sick of being sick. My ma came over and made me some soup and gave me some meds, so hopefully I will feel better soon. Probably not.

Anywho, I saw Slither last night and it was so totally sweet. I dug the fuck out of it and it was madly funny and gross. LOVED IT. All of these black girls were in the theater and were like "Aw hell naw". Loves it.

Well the whole living situation is gonna change again. I am officially moving in with my boyfriend. Trust me, this was not supposed to happen, I really wanted to wait until at least 1 year before we moved in together. Looks like that is not going to happen. I have to get out of this house though. It totally sucks here. At least I will be saving money this way. I'm just worried this is not the right decision for us. BUT, if we are going to be living together in Austin or Tuscon, or wherever, we should start somewhere.

I'm gonna go watch all my O.C.'s that I have TVo'd. This season totally sucks though.