Oh...

...and here's some more pictures of my hair. Did I mention that I fucking love it?

She's sure fine lookin' man, she's somthin' else!

I just had the best/worst day ever. It started with a hole in my power steering area that involved me racing to the gas station, using all my might just to turn the wheel, to grab two bottles of fluid and doin' what my Daddy taught me, which is to get greasy and do it your fucking self! Then I went to the Dentist, which I love, to find out that I have two cavities (my first ones ever). The hygienist told me I have the best oral hygiene that she has ever seen and then the doctor fucker comes in, without even saying hi mind you, and tells me I have two cavities. They are super small, so I get some prescription toothpaste to hopefully eradicate the issue. What the fuck ever.

Then I go out to eat with my mommy and go to my haircut appointment. Now, I haven't gotten a haircut in a little over a year because I HATE every hairdresser I've ever had because they don't LISTEN! So I was teetertottering on whether or not I wanted to cancel, but like the champ that I am, I said FUCK IT, let's do this. And oh was it ever done. I fucking love my hair. Like a lot. It's perfect and just what I wanted. I know, what kind of self-abosorbed vain biatch blogs about her fucking hair? ME, motherfucker, that's who. I was mega excited to show Ezra and he said, and I quote "You look fucking hot". He never says shit like that. Yes, I know he loves me and doesn't need to tell me I look fucking hot everyday, but oh was I squealin' with joy like a pig in shit. I feel wonderous and nothing can stop this Wolff train from tearing up her last few days in Ohio. You have bitch tits if you aren't coming to the party because it will rule. So many people from my past will be there, you'll swear it's an episode of This is Your Life.

OK, not much to pack left, so now I'm going to make my mizzan a pineapple upsidown cake.

Fuck yeah.

Howya like me now?

I must say that not working has made me very productive. So far today (it's 2:25) I have taken Hatchie to see Santa with the bf, made dinner, took the pup for a walk and worked out with the Girls Next Door on Exercise TV. Whew. I dig this. I thought I would be stuck watching TV, but I actually have energy and motivation to do stuff. A gal could get used to this.

Watch out world, Dancin' Wolffie is coming to town. Last night, at Girl Talk, I danced so fucking hard that I have 2 blisters on each toe. My dance card was full and I shook this here money maker like it hadn't been shook in years. I was sweating my tits off and was soaked by the time the show was over. Too bad it was at Oberlin and every spoiled scenester kid was there sporting their perfect quiff and mommy and daddy bought duds. I do wish that was my life, but then again, I would probably suck and not be the sweet ass wit that I am today. Tuesday I will be going to 80s night at Pirates Cove if anyone would care to attend. Remember folks, I have a week off until I leave, so I will go dancing every night if I have to. Or do whatever as long as it doesn't cost too much.

Ugh, Ezra is working like everyday and it sucks to beat the band. I know that we live together, but I thoroughly enjoy spending time with him. Whatever, I've got other fish to fry. So to speak. Not really, I'm kinda bored. And horny. Good thing Ezra only works til 6. I'm getting a haircut on Tuesday and am going to get short bangs again. Who cares? Whatever bye.

Phooey

I am up to my tits in shoes/clothes/books/SHIT. I hate packing at whittling down my lovely stuff into piles of what I need (which, according to Ezr, is like two boxes) and don't need (almost everything).

I hit a new low today, when Ezra was in the shower, I had to shit so bad that I stood near the litterbox and almost went in there. I didn't, and just made Ezra hurry up, but I totally could have. I couldn't hold it (big salad last night) and it was massivly poking out. I hate myself sometimes.

Not working is very time consuming with the television and all. I like it.

I feel lightheaded with stress and the shit I must get done.

It's such a good vibration.

Marky Mark and the Funkybunch are very underrated. Just that one hit, I mean...

Anywhat...I may be losing my mind. I all of a sudden remembered a time when my best ex boyfriend, Casper, and I were at our friend Leslie's house on West Blvd., and were on acid. We did this quite often, eat acid, almost everyday for an entire summer (not to mention most of our relationship). We loved walking around Edgewater park wasted and watching the sunset on the city of Cleveland, which I liked then. Well one day, we fed her dog a jar of peanut butter while she was sleeping, and were both awestruck on how completely awesome this looked. So I remembered that time and fed Hatchetface some PB. It's not the same. A dog eating PB on acid is probably the best thing ever. Right next to doing acid with your best friend in the entire world and feeling a connection. Alas, my days of acid eating are LONG gone, I've wigged out 1 too many times and am an old lady now. I don't know why I'm thinking of this other than to say that I MISS CASPER. He moved to NYC and although we shared a relatively short relationship (6 months) it is going on a 10 year friendship that is one of the best I've ever had. I still talk to him every once in a while, and see him when he comes home. But I love him and will never have a friendship like his again.

Well, I found out that I got two A's in two classes and the rest are up for discussion. This semester has been one of the most difficult one's that I have had to endure and am utterly glad that it is almost done.

One thing I've realized this year is that it is very unnecessary to freak out when bad things happen. One should just "roll with the punches" so to speak and chalk everything up to experience. This may be the end of the proverbial "Wolff freak out". Life goes on and as long as you have good people around you, everything is copasetic. I love that word.

This moving thing has really brought me to reflect on my 26 years and what I have learned. A whole lot actually. I've also figured out that I am really in love and that is the one thing that is mega-scary. How do you keep a relationship going that you are genuinely happy in? Anyone...Bueller? I can only do what I do best, and that is to be who I am. The gross girl that made Ezra obsessed with me in the first place. It also freaks me out that we never, truely fight. Does that mean that we are passionless?? I don't believe so. I believe that enforces our proverbial bond and it really makes life more simple. I've also learned that friendships grow more complicated. It's not as easy as it used to be. Especially with girls. I haven't figured out why that is, but I'm sure I will.

Wow...aren't I contemplative? A little too much for a Thursday afternoon, I suppose...

I heart Luda.

I am so done with work it's not even funny. The Mustard Seed is a flushed turd. And for my final closing announcement to get the custies out of the store I said "FUCK OFF". HAHAHAHAHa. It's really done. The day I've been dreaming of for 7 years is finally part of my past. Word 'em up. Now I have two weeks today to spend in Ohio. If anyone wants to make out with me or tell me off or fight me, do it now or forever hold your bladder.

I had the best tattoo idea and none of yuns will believe the lengths ofhillarity that this super fan is going to. Oh you'll dig the fuck out of it.

AHHHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm moving. In with Lisa who seems to be the ying to my yang. I'm going to try to work at the porn store.

Now I've gotta get this dye out of my locks so adios bitches!

Wee Willy Wolffy

Ezra's home!! Yepper, he came rollin' in on Tuesday night, but it wasn't a surprise, for I could smell him coming a mile away. That boy's stench made my eyes water. Usually, I don't mind a little man stank, but this was pushing even MY filthy limits. I forgave the vileness, smothering him with hugs and kisses and cuddles. He even stole me a lawn pink flamingo from a putt-putt course. Le sigh. We went straight to bed and he arose with me early, ignoring the permeating foulness emanating from his body, and did the deed like it hadn't been done in a week. Nice.

Well, now I appear to be snowed in. So I did what any other red blooded weirdo would do and started burning candles (I'm trying to use them up so I don't have so many). I'm also really bored. I've packed most of my DVDs up and there is nothing on the telly. I will go to the gym later, but I wanna watch TV. Now. Blah.

I have two days of work left and nothing has ever felt so good. I get to be my regular sarcastic, nasty self to these idiot customers and let them know that yes, their question is stupid and no, I don't know a good regimen for a colon cleanse. Lick my taint. I don't have to learn the stupid new produce procedures or push gift certificates that no one wants. Fuck you Seed. I never loved you.

Well, I'm going to go occupy myself with, oh I don't know, STUDYING. That's a novel idea. Spanish seems so trivial now that I know I'll never have to take it again. EVER.

All I've been doing is reading. Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, and Francesca Lia Block are invading my cranium and I love it. Someone start a book club with me. Ahem, Lisa.

MMMM-Bop

I fucking hate people that are so fucking self absorbed especially on Myspace and their own damn dumb blogs. No one cares about the drama that ensues only after you yourself start it and expect people to give you a damn and their precious attention. It's not reality and you are not in my reality so fuck off. This does not pertain to Amy.


With that said, WILL EZRA PLEASE COME HOME NOW? This is really getting ridiculous. I wanna do it and I wanna cuddle and I wanna talk about my new home and the closet space. I don't want to go to school today because it snowed and I just wanna make the house clean for my baby. I am feeling very bratty today and predict that I will feel this way all day. So I will make potato chedder soup and clean the house and watch Fashion File on the DVR. Jesus Christ on a Crotchrocket do I miss my boyfriend.

Fuck Spanish, fuck idiots, fuck snow and fuck the fuck out of Christmas. Come visit me someone. Or rather, don't cuz I'm feeling ripe (from not showering) and rude (from lack of sex). Finals week can not come soon enough.

I need to hear live music and dance the night away.

Save me from myself on this dreary day of December.

Disaster is my middle name.

So this week has been tumultuous at best and disheartening at worst. What am I saying it's not all that bad. See, right now I'm sitting at the computer with a chocolate mask on my face that the supplement lady gave me. I look like a dirty hobo or a man with black face. It's amusing. I can almost guarantee that when I wash it off the sink water will look like diarrhea. Which will also be something to see. This is what my life has come to I suppose. That's what happens when your boyfriend and good girlfriend skip town. My birthday was bittersweet because it involved everyone showing some love for me, but my moosh left for the first dump of our stuff to Texas. It's all happening. I also found out that I don't have to take Spanish anymore and that I will be graduating in approx. one year. Yes, there will be more school after that, but I will have two degrees under my panties and one more to go until I can have a career. What this means is that it feels good. Like Tony Toni Tone said. Ya get me?

I also got to spend mucho time alone with myself and my puppy and that was also wonderful. I watched two seasons of the L Word and now I want to have a girlfriend again. I've told Ezra from the get go that he is my last man relationship and if it doesn't work, I'm going back to the puss. No offense to the men, but the girls are way hotter. Crazier, but hotter. I cleaned my room, went through more of my clothes and exercised. Nice and relaxing. But I miss my Ezra. It's not the same without him and it feels like a family when we are together. Blah. Sappiness is not a good side of me.

Shopping with my ma was wonderful and I got three HUGE bags of clothes. I am really excited about this leopard print tight dress I got for our going away party. I am going all retro and will be all hot. I gotta go out with a bang ya'll!

On a darker note, I got in another fight with Amy. Same shit and I'm done as fuck. I am not dealing with bullshit from anyone. I will find new friends and friends that won't fuck me over. Life is too short to spend time worrying about someone who doesn't give a shit about me. I have less than a month left to spend here and don't want to waste it.

I have also figured out what I good friend I have in Karen. We have gotten very close and I love her to death. She is honest and upfront and very fun. I am sad to be leaving her.

I've decided that I want to work at a porn shop in Texas. Or a clothing store. Either will work.

Greg has been dead for one year tomorrow. I loved him and I probably always will. I will never get over this hurdle in my life. He made me feel beautiful and smart and stole all of my money. He built me up in a way that I will never ever be built up again and he was a lying drug addicted fool. Life is dichotomous and I hate it. Everything is full of two extremes and nothing can ever, EVER be perfect. That's why I'm happy with Ezra. He isn't the sweetest boyfriend and can sometimes be insensitive, but he is stable and there for me. I love him with all my heart and will do anything to keep us working. I want to be with him for a very long time. And the sex is great.

My brain and heart are in knots. I wish things were different but they are not. I wish to death that Amy loved me like I love her and I wish that she was the way she used to be. I wish that our friendship wasn't ending the way that it is.

Well, it's bedtime. I hope sleep comes easy for me. Without Ezra, it's hard to sleep.