Come On Baby You're My Best Fix.

It's been a while since I've Blizzoged, but not much is going on. I quit my 2nd job since I've been here on account of the rediculously low rate I was being paid. So now I'm jobless once again. Ezra is cool with it, but I'm not. Shit, I got bills and shopping to do. My new scheme is to tend bar somewhere that I am worshipped. Whether it be a Lesbo joint, or a skanky biker bar, I need tips. And no, the door hitting me in the ass is not a good tip.

Things otherwise are going pretty good. Ezra downloaded some porno and I'm going to give it another go. He's right, how can a girl who can look at poop and pus all day and giggle about it squeal everytime she sees a penis enter a vagina? I don't know is the answer. I'm not by ANY sense a prudie prude pants, it just doesn't appeal to me. I wouldn't even be opposed to filming a sexy movie, but watching it gives me the heebie jeebies. But, like the trooper that I am, I'm gonna give it another go 'round. Stay tuned for the details...

Things with Ezra are going DISTURBINGLY well. He is my number one scummer. HAHAHAH get it?? Anywho, the darling, sickeningly sweet couple that we are went ROLLERSKATING on Sunday and I didn't fall once. I was expecting to have a broken ulna or at least a squashed pinkie, but no...I ruled the rink. Good times, I must say.

Everyone will also be delighted to know that the Haidet/Wolff love train will be rolling into the O to the HIO for Cinema Wasteland this March/April. I expect EVERYONE to make a valliant effort to see us (or at least me) if you know what's good for you. It will be a fun repeat of last year with my screen siren idol, Miss Tura Satana.

Well, that's about it.

Oh the weather ouside is frightful...

...j/k, it's totally not. Tex-ASS is really living up to it's name because everyone here seems to have their head firmly placed up their ass when it comes to driving and weather. It has really made me proud (for once) to be from Ohio, the land of good drivers and never shutting down anything. I hated it then, but now I see the big picture. For god's sake, the Malls were closed. WTF?! Anywho, shit is back up and running again and life will begin as planned starting today, when I have to work. I like working with clothing, but I know damn well that all of my money will go to new shoes and outfits and looking good. I've got a lotta plans to fulfill, especially all of the dancing dates with Lisa. She's gotta see me at my best, not just in my pj's all of the time (like I always am at home).

So despite the weather setbacks, everything is peachy keen here in the land of the Lone Star. School starts Friday and I am soooo excited. Call me a pocket protector wearin' nerd if you will, my cranium lives to learn. Especially about abnormal psych. I have been aching for this class since I took it before (it's what made me want to be a psych. major in the first place). Yes, this will be time numero dos for taking it, but Tri-C doesn't count. I plan to do uber well in all my classes and get straight A's for the duration of my time here at U of T. No more Spanish to throw in gross C+'s. I'll use my espanol knowledge to order food at the over 200 Mexican restaurants here in San Antonio. And I plan to try every one, thank you very much. Mexican food served by hottt mexican ladies. Can't beat that with a bat.

Ezra and I are still doing good. I still get mad at him for doing and saying stupid stuff, but that comes with the territory. That said, it's very difficult to keep our baby makin' activities down, I tend to be a loud lady...but Ben and Lisa keep weird hours, so hopefully we'll be doin' it when they are sleeping and we won't weird them out with our barnyard noises.

As you can tell, I'm in much better spirits and am ready for the weekend of fun that Lisa promised me. I'm going to buy a new dress today for the occasion.

How dry I am...

Blah. I feel like rotting meat in John Wayne's colon. The Fredrick's of Hollywood job sucks to new heights, Ezra just left for a tattoo convention (that I chose not to attend for sheer lack of funds), and I am on the verge of tears for the umpteenth time since I've been here. I KNOW that things will get better, but I'm so lonely. I mostly feel very empty because every time I want to do something that I would usually call up my mother to do with me, oh yeah, I have to do these things by myself. I'm not utterly unhappy with this new life that I've created, nor do I regret moving, it's just that I'm starting over with shithole jobs, an adult diaper load of school (starting next Wednesday), and no friends. Ezra's made a buddy at work, but I'm sitting here on a Saturday night by myself with nothing to do and nowhere to go. The fucked up thing is, if I were in Kent, I wouldn't care if I was by myself. I would be happy. But nooooooo, I've got to be Queen Emo, and feel sorry for myself.

Everything with Ezra is going good, it's just I can't stand all of this time together. I'm a very private person and like to generate space between myself and the significant other. There is no space. At all. I have so much to bitch about, but it all just comes out wrong and I feel like garbage.

I'm going to go cry in my room now.

There's a whole in my heart that can only be filled by you...

Alas...homesickness sets in. I knew it would come to this, but so soon? Not fair. I miss hanging out with people at will, I miss going to places that are not on a LOOP...and I miss feeling confident. The job search did not go as well as I planned it, although I did get a job, I expected more places to call me back, with my stunning past jobby job history. Not so much. Eh, I guess a discount on good clothes makes up for it. I basically feel shitty because I have no self confidence right now. I am obsessing over my looks for now apparent reason other than I have nothing else to do right now. No job, no class, no friends. I am comparing myself to stupid people and unsure about my personality. I have continued to work out while living in San Antonio (walk the dog, do floor exercises) but I feel really gross and uggo. I'm sick of Ezra everyday. I'm sick of having no money coming in. I'm sick of not seeing my friends and I don't want them to forget about me. I hate my clothes and I want a new wardrobe. I am basically being a whiney bitch and I want someone to care.

This post is doing me no good.

Deep in the Ass of Texas!

I made it!! After shipping off a day late (and more than a dollar short) we rolled into San Antone in the wee hours of Friday morning (3am). The drive wasn't as bad as I was predicting that it would be, I even ended up driving for 7 hours straight! Whoda thunk? I'm pretty happy here, despite not really knowing where anything is and not having a jobby job, but that will arrive in due time. My stuff all ended up fitting (ha ha Ezra, shows what you know) and New Years Eve was super fun. Not so much the standard rockabilly joint, but the 80s dancing with Sugar and Lisa really made the night what it was. I'm kind of getting a little lonesome for my girls and my mom...it's hard not to be able to call someone to come over and watch the 7 day America's Next Top Model marathon with me, but Hatchetface will do.

****Sappy Wolff ahead, watch out****

This feels so wonderful to be making this kind of move with Ezra. He still makes my heart swoon, and starting a "new life" with him makes me giddy like a perv on a playground. The man is sexy, talended, hiliarious, and sweet...how did I get so lucky? I thank the stars at night that are big and bright (deep in the heart of Texas...sorry) that I decided to give the goofball a chance, it was by FAR the best decision I have ever made.

Anywhat...I'm gonna continue not getting dressed and watching the marathon as I attempt to work out.