I Really Hate Everyone.

As I eat this cherry turnover and peruse the ever-annoying "Myspace", I've become quite annoyed. Why do sooo many people on Le Space hate each other one minute and post cute little comments on each other's pages the next? Now, I got on this website to find some people that I knew were on here with no intention of sticking around. Then I got into it and am stuck in like a hole filled with tar. That's all myspace is, a gaping, black, sticky hole. But one thing I DO NOT do is get into verbal comment, sarcasm wars and post caustic little comments on other people's pages that they know the person they are writing about will see. AND to top it all off, I see these people befriend the cretins that post uncouth comments about them in the first place! Then they both act all ass-kissy toward each other and it makes me want to heave black tar vom all over myspace and these people. Fucking get some balls! Don't let people talk shit about you and then fawn all over them the next. It's fucking abominable. Especially people who are manipulative and contriving. Although, yes I do not know the whole story of some of these instances, I can pretty much make an intelligent deduction about what the case may be. It's so frustrating. I really do hate myspace...it makes it like high school all over again. Too bad I am too ostentatious to ever remove my profile.

On a darker note...Ezra has one of his notorious stomach aches, and this one is baaad. Bad like M.J. when he danced around in that parking garage with Eddie Murphy, bad. I think he was poisened by Wendy's. All I can infer is that fast food= stomach problems. Especially fast food with MAYO that was probably old. That's why people should stick with my diet. The only time I feel like shit is when I accidentily eat something with a yucky ingredient in it.

My shopping/Morrissey excursion is on Saturday and I'm bringing 500 dollars to blow on clothes. My closet has been so deprived as of late, it is coughing and crying out for more, more, more. Just like my boy Bill-dog Idol. I have been dying for an Urban Outfitters fix and the vintage stores aren't too shabby either. Whoo Hooo...shopping by myself, then crying alone. The perfect end to a perfect day.

I'm off to go pound the pavement of San Antonio...have a loverly day!

Dookie Booty

My arms hurt. My legs hurt. My booty hurts. Working out is hard to do. Yesterday I did the Girls Next Door workout and it was ruff. Them gals do a lot to keep hot for that 80 yr. old fella. I still managed to take the dog for a 40 minute walk today. If I plan on going to beaches and shit this summer, I gotta get right, get it tight. I be up in the living room just workin' on my fitness.

Things are looking up, music wise. I just got Neko tickets for Lisa and I in Austin in August. Whoo hoo! And this Saturday is my mopefest with Morrissey. Not too shabby, I'd say.

Yesterday while getting my monthly brazillian wax, I got drunk! I found this really nice salon where they give you alcohol while they perform your services! No extra charge. So while my jungle was getting excavated, I drank the trashiest wine out there, White Zin! 2 glasses! I was meeting Ezra afterwards for lunch and I came in the place all red faced and giggly, he totally knew right away that I was on the tipsy train. The gal also waxed my eyebrows and my 'stach, which both needed it so bad. I was hairy all over. I guess hairy eyebrows are better than overplucked eyebrows anyday.

Work is still good. Mexicans are still pigs. All is well with Ezra and I. Hatchie is still adorable. I am still attempting to make myself the trashiest gal in all of Texas. Nothing to comment on.


BYE LOVERS!

Blood Queef.

I can't remember Ezra and I's anniversery. Whoops. I know approx. when it is, but not the exact date. This erks Ezra to no end, certifying my place as the girl who pays no attention to most things. I know that this fact bothers him, he, for some unknown reason, thinks that he is more invested in this relationship than I. SOOOO not even true. I just don't really remember exact dates or listen when he talks to me. Oh well. I know it's mid-August. The point of this whole ramble is that I can't even believe we have been together for almost 2 years. I was lamenting on this fact when I tried to figure out the date, to no avail. Oy vey. Now he won't tell me what it really is. And now I'm done talking about this.

On a much, MUCH darker note...I'm going to see Morissey alone. How fitting, since I will be in tears the whole time and no one wants to see that. I've wanted to see the man for eons, so when the chance came, I pounced. Albeit alone, but eh, what can you do. Misery loves company. At least I will be able to go shopping before the show.

Fudge and Lemonade is coming along slowwwwwly but surely. End of June will be the first episode.

I'm tired and a little stuffy.

Do you even care?

UGH. I am crabby. Even my crabs are crabby. Why am I crabby, you ask? Well, mis amigos, I don't even know. Probably because I'm bored all the time and just want to go to shows. I am going to a few this summer...

June 18th- Yo Majesty in Austin. A lesbian black girl trio rap/crunk group. Can't get any better.

July 28th- Unknown Hinson with Danny B. Harvey.

Aug. 18th- The Stray Cats in San Antonio.

Plus some random ones that I can't really remember. That is so not satisfying, writing those sad three shows. WAHHHH.

On a lighter note, my mom is coming to visit me on June 4th. That will be fun.

OH GOD I'M DYING. PLEASE COME VISIT ME.

.............................................................

Hi There, How Are Things?

I hate finals. It's the worst week ever. Texas Politics is by FAR and AWAY the worst class I have had the displeasure to read magazines through. Blather and Bother. Eh, one left and then I am FREEEEE for the entire summer. Rock 'n Roll and beaches (not the Bette Midler kind) here I come!

Anydoodle, besides the aforementioned issue, life is going as dandy as candy. I got drunk off beer (well tipsy) for the first time in my existence. Dos XX is my poison of choice and it goes down like wata with that damn salt. Fucking shit do I love salt. Shorty lemme tell ya 'bout my only vice, it has to do with lots of sodium and it ain't nuthin' nice. We will be filming the first bit of Fudge and Lemonade this weekend. Ezra and I got drunk and brainstormed for ideas, so be prepared. Although you won't see it until mid to late June. It takes a long time to make a half hour show.

People I work with are actually noticing that I am losing weight! It is really nice to see that all of this sweating I'm doing is actually paying off. Ezra is pouting about it, but I don't care...I am more confident which means more walking around in the buff, subsequently leading to more hanky panky. And that is good for all! Except maybe Lisa who has to try to block all of our barnyard noises out. Hatchie's herpes are clearing up too! Turns out it was only folliculitis and a pill cures all her woes. The trio is unstoppable once again!

I still really miss everyone and am ever so lonely. Lisa and I fill our voids with shopping (I'm learning her well), but there is nothing to do. I wish people would come visit us (shameless guilt trip). That would make everything sooo much better.

Ezra and I are doing really well. It's weird b/c we started off our relationship without that weird (as Neko would say) "Teenage Feeling" that I usually think is so important. It turns out that as our relationship progresses, I find that feeling readily available to me and I get those butterflies and shivers quite often. Sometimes I drive home from work listening to Otis Redding and just can't wait to see him. It truly is bizarre and wonderful and scary at the same time. But other times I want to pull his eyeballs out and fry them in a pan. Not for long though. Seriously how could someone stay pissed at that face.

Well enough rambling...I'm going to go study and run and sleep. Call me and come visit. PLEASE.

Oooh Baby I Like it RAW!

Yo Yo Yo Yo!

Jack shit going on here PER USUAL. The high point of my life is that I made 1000 in tips last week. I worked my caboose off though, my dogs were howling. So I just went Internet shopping and got some cute stuff. Wish I could go REAL shopping though, hrumph.

I am doing my bestest to plan some fun stuff for Ezra and I to do. This includes many trips to Austin, including one to see a lesbian rap trio (!) and H.G. Lewis (!!!). That is why I don't know why people are making such a big hype about Grindhouse. So many people did it before those two and did it soo much better. Check out Mexploitation films, Lewis, Andy Milligan, and many many more to see how it was really done on a 500 dollar budget. I mean, I appreciate the film, don't get me wrong, it's better than some of the crap that gets put out...but give props where props are due. People are acting as if it's so innovative and jazz, it's not. I guess I'm just a connoisseur of crap movies. I'm a John Waters follower and basically love every name that he throws out. Tarintino is not one of them.

Anywhoodle, back to my summer plans. South Padre Island is a mere 2 hours away from us and I need a beach getaway. Call me what you will, the beach is what relaxes me most. Although I am a religous SPF wearer, nothing makes Wolffie smile like some sun, sand, and surf. SO we will be having a weekend trip there. Vegas at the end of the summer with Lisa will give me a chance to catch up on my 60s girl groups and I'll have to polish off my go-go boots. California maybe too, to get my Divine portriat done by this amazing color portriat guy. Granted, it may cost me 700 dollars, but it will be sooo worth it. And I'll get to see Ace!

We are still super lonely and friendless, but I hope to change that over the summer. Ezra and I have vowed to go out once a week to try to find cool people in this HUGE town. I miss live music and want to try to get out more to see stuff.

Well, I'm off to try to find something to do tonight. Wish me luck!!!