Don't touch me with those seman stained hands, you big ape!

I'm back from my excursion. Oh shit does it feel good to be back. Don't get me wrong, I had, per usual, the time of my life, but I missed the ole homefront.

The trip started off on a bit of a sour note, as I missed my plane. Nice. Luckily, there was another one a mere hour from the first, so it was not too much of an inconvienence. Angie picked me up and we went to eat at P.F. Changs, which proved to be un-fucking-believeable. These lettuce wraps they had were sooo great, they changed my life. Then we had all the best intentions of going out for a night on the West Chester town, but got sucked into some horrible T.V. as usual, and retired early. I was tired anyway.

The next day we both simultationsly woke up at the asshole crack of dawn and headed up for a jam-packed shopping day! My favorite extracurricular activity! We started off at King of Prussia, and were there for like 5 hours. That fucking place is gigundous. I got some good shit, no boots, to my dismay. Then we went to the Exton mall and I got some more shit. Oh shopping, why are you the only thing that gives me the least bit of pleasure in this cruel world? That night we hightailed it on down to Rex's to get in some quality RedbullVodka time. All the old favorites were there, Jackie, Justin, Zach, Donnie and Colleen. It was mondo fun, but I was very tired and we went home at like one, to sleep off the jampacked day of shopping and drinking.

I can't really remember what we did on Saturday during the day...I know we worked out...anywho, I can't remember because what happened Saturday night was probably the highlight of my existance, and will forever outshine anything else that will ever happen to me...childbirth, death, ANYTHING. Ok, so we went to this club called the 700 club which was mega cute, it looked like someone's grandma's house. This nerdy, hipster/emo dude came up to Ang and I and told us we were the sexiest girls at the bar, and that our outfits were amazing. We were very nonchalant, and said our thank yous, and were on our way. Later, as we were walking to the car after the bar, we stopped some random and asked him for directions. Lo and behold, it was the random from earlier. So he helped us find our way and we got to talking to him and somehow got on the subject of sexy underwear. He goes "I have some pretty sexy underwear on, do you girls want to see?" Fuck yes, we say and he promptly drops his drawers, revealing a lovely black, g-string, banana hammock! Oh my we say. Knowing my love for crazy people, I start snapping photos! Then he asks us if we mind if he takes down his underwear. Angie says I don't know, ask Theresa. Ladies and gents, you know my answer, so this young man drops the panties, revealing a raging hard-on! Creepy you say? Oh contraire, it was trememdously funny! Suprisingly, not weird at all. So I'm snapping away and he bends over, spreading his ass cheeks, to reveal a bountiful purple flower. This dudes asshole was stretched to no end. Beautiful! Colleen says (which is the quote of the century) "If I was single, I'd touch it". Amazing. Then the gentlefellow says, "Do you ladies mind if I masturbate in front of you?" Of course, the answer is no (I was voted out 2 against one) and we go on our way. OMG. This shit only happens to me.

The rest of the trip was uneventful compared to this event. I missed Ezra greatly, and feel happy to be home. Sigh

You can get with this, or you can get with that

I am having a major delimma right now. I cannot go into detail but it is ripping me apart inside. I have something to tell someone that I was not supposed to tell them, and I have to. HAVE to. This not only effects me, but this other person, and one other person. Something is happening and this secret that I've held for 7 months is about to come out. This will change things to no extent and I am freaking out. I feel hurt and angry and betrayed. This sucks. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. 

check out my chrissie behind...it's fine!

A).Why was I possessed with the gene that makes me hate everyone? I swear, the older I get, the my cynical I am. It's very difficult to break out of that, especially when everyone that surrounds me is so GODDAMN STUPID!!!!! Not just customers at work, everyone. I need to stop.

2). I really enjoy watching television. I went without the el stupido box for 2ish years, now I am most definetly sucked the fuck in. And since I got TiVo? Fugget about it. I have been reading alot too, to try to keep my brain from turning into pureed jell-o (sidenote: they actually DID puree jell-o at the nursing home I used to work at...sick).

iii). I MISS EZRA. AND ANGIE. AND ACE. AND AUD. AND AMY. AND DAVE. Seriously, the only people I can stand, I am not able to see when I want to. Karen is a good sub though, I like her.

Commense America's Next Top Model Marathon!!!!!!

I'm in love with a stripper

Well, my sweetie pie left today for Austin. It's bittersweet. Bitter, obviously because I will be without my best friend for six days, and considering the fact that he's pretty much the only person I can stand, that relatively sucks. Sweet, because I get to do whatever the fuck I want to without comprimising anything. Sooo, I'm going out to eat with Rob on Thursday, watching America's Next Top Model on Wednesday, and going dancing on Friday. AND having a sleepover with Amy on Saturday doing girly stuff. Fun packed weekend galore! Even after all that fun, I will still be mondo happy when I pick Ezra up from the airport Monday morning. I know it's hormones and chemicals that take the romance out of love, but daggone it, that oxytocin sure does feel good while it lasts. It's difficult being away from someone that you see everyday of your life. It's cool though, the time apart does a body good. Then I am the one to leave 3 days after he gets back. I am super excited to spend time with the guys and gals in good ole' WestChester. I have soo much fun when I am there. And Target has coconuts again!!!! Do I see a repeat of last years shananigans (sp?)??? My sources point to yes!!!

My depression has let up a great deal since last week. Last week was a killer. I also can't wait to rock out at the plethura of show that are coming. After a dry winter, an abundance of good rockin opportunities are a comin my way!!! I am going to make a valid attempt at posting all of these shows I will be attending on my myspace page, so as soon as I get that damn free times in front of me, I will do so!

I need to vent real quick...Erica has been eating Vicoden like crazy and sort of bragging about it in front of me. Not really bragging, I guess, but talking about it alot and shit. She knows perfectly well about my history with this horrible drug, but continues to let me know how much she is doing it. Greg didn't make a downhill slide with nothing to blame for it. Vicoden led to him killing himself amongst other things that happened to him. He stole all of my money because of it for chrissakes. I really don't think that talking about this shit constantly is appropriate to do in front of someone whose life got ruined by it. Correct me if I'm wrong I guess. People are just genuine assholes and have no idea when to shut up about things. Angie did the same thing the other day with the Adderol. I know it's a different category, but I never want to do pills again. Not fuckin worth it. End transmission 

I love the cock

So Thursday was, as well, the best day ever. It started off with the finale of midterm week, thank Christ, and Ezra picking me up from class. We proceeded to go fuck our brains out because it has been an utterly long time (yeast, cold, bloody drawers), and decided to go to the movies with Angie. It was four o'clock and we had some time to kill before the movie, so we decided to do some well deserved daytime drinkin'. Well flashforeward to midnight when we were still at the bar. 8 motherfuckin hours at the bar. We were joined by Karen and Ryan and it was a grand time. Angie and I spend approximately 35 dollars in the jukebox and played the same songs over and over and over. Sam Cooke has never been played so much in his life. We slow danced to Otis Redding and had the most heartfelt conversations and bonded like we haven't in so long. It feels so good to have that girl here. I love her so much and can't wait to go visit her soon. She makes me happy and not utterly miserable like I usually am. Angie, Ryan, Ezra, and I make a good foursome (shut up sickos) and I am looking foreward to many happy times with them. 

A night to remember

Oh last night really WAS all it's cracked up to be!!! Everyone (well almost) that I love was there with me and it was ubsurdly fun. We got picked up at Hooligan's by Ryan and Angie and when we got to Screwie Louie's, we were whisked away to a magical land called backstage, where the Redbull Vodka and Miller Lite were a-flowin'. Then we all connected with the lovely members of Backwoods Payback, whom I love dearly, and proceeded to wreck massive havok with silly string and glow necklaces. It was an amazing night and it made this overwhelmingly shitty week that consisted of midterms and stolen credit cards all worth while. Now I am sitting in my room watching Futurama and feeling like massive shit. Diarreah is flowing like wine and I am really not wanting to go to work today. So I worked some shit out with Kim to go in later if she can go in later next Saturday because she wants to go to the strip club or sumthin. Whatever. Anywho, I had so much fun causing trouble, and hanging out with my friends. I am the luckiest girl in the world. OMG I totally forgot to write about the other day...Hold on, I'll start a new post 

Too Little, Too Late

Ok, well I don't so much feel like telling the rest of the story, but I will say that it ended up with vomit all over the floor, and a pissed in bed. And a pissed off roomate.

I feel like ass. I am so down in the dumps. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me, besides I am utterly unsatisfied with my life as I know it. I am stuck in a job that sucks my life's blood, I don't think I'll EVER get done with school at this rate, and I am miserable in Ohio. I have one good thing in my life, Ezra, and I am making a valid effort to try to convince myself that it is not working. I have no idea why, because I know tootin' well that it is working out splendidly. I tend to pull this kind of shit when I am scared of getting hurt. And ya'll better believe that I am terrified. It's hard enough dating someone with an ex-gf, but try an ex- wife. It just weighs heavy on my brain. Ezra obviously is over that part of his life, but it is extremely hard for me to seperate myself from thoughts. Please make a magical pill to shut off my brain. Shouldn't those damn wheels be slowing down with rust by now. Of course not. I just have to know that Ezra went through hell and high water to be with me, and that is where he wants to be. I know it's this fucking birth control that is turning me into a watery pile of woman, with tiara and g string floating around. Hormones suck. I am very much in love with a stable (um hello, that doesn't happen to me) man, who I am able to be a goofball with, who enjoys the morbid side of life, as do I. I just have to get a grip and be cool. I deserve to be happy for once. God forbid.

On a darker note, I found my old best friend Ace!!! I love this boy and we were stuck together like glue for the better part of two years. He is one of the funniest and good hearted people I know, and I can't wait for him to come visit me.

And Angie is here right now so, I have an ally in this cruel world. Thank you universe for sending this beautiful best friend my way during this hard week.

P.S. FUCK YOU MIDTERMS!

Ride me hard and put me away wet

OMG