Ok, well I don't so much feel like telling the rest of the story, but I will say that it ended up with vomit all over the floor, and a pissed in bed. And a pissed off roomate.
I feel like ass. I am so down in the dumps. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me, besides I am utterly unsatisfied with my life as I know it. I am stuck in a job that sucks my life's blood, I don't think I'll EVER get done with school at this rate, and I am miserable in Ohio. I have one good thing in my life, Ezra, and I am making a valid effort to try to convince myself that it is not working. I have no idea why, because I know tootin' well that it is working out splendidly. I tend to pull this kind of shit when I am scared of getting hurt. And ya'll better believe that I am terrified. It's hard enough dating someone with an ex-gf, but try an ex- wife. It just weighs heavy on my brain. Ezra obviously is over that part of his life, but it is extremely hard for me to seperate myself from thoughts. Please make a magical pill to shut off my brain. Shouldn't those damn wheels be slowing down with rust by now. Of course not. I just have to know that Ezra went through hell and high water to be with me, and that is where he wants to be. I know it's this fucking birth control that is turning me into a watery pile of woman, with tiara and g string floating around. Hormones suck. I am very much in love with a stable (um hello, that doesn't happen to me) man, who I am able to be a goofball with, who enjoys the morbid side of life, as do I. I just have to get a grip and be cool. I deserve to be happy for once. God forbid.
On a darker note, I found my old best friend Ace!!! I love this boy and we were stuck together like glue for the better part of two years. He is one of the funniest and good hearted people I know, and I can't wait for him to come visit me.
And Angie is here right now so, I have an ally in this cruel world. Thank you universe for sending this beautiful best friend my way during this hard week.
P.S. FUCK YOU MIDTERMS!
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